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Like AlwaysWake up, get out of bed
Plaster on that fake smile
Wipe away the tears
Act as if you're happy
Fake it, like always
Look in the mirror
Ignore the flaws
Tell yourself today will be different
Lie, like always
Don't let anyone see the scars
Long-sleeves and made up fairy tales
Don't let them see the tears
Don't tell the truth
It was the cat, like always
Don't fall down
Not till you're alone
There you can fall apart
Alone, like always
Comforted by the blade
to begin with.
HappinessYou wear happiness
as your mask
Paint on a smile
as fragile as glass
you are screaming and crying
Lashing out at yourself
as you are slowly dying
For ThemKind words from friends pierce my heart,
"Believe me" they said. Mind and soul torn apart.
"You're beautiful; you're amazing; you're so strong!"
But everything in me tells me they're wrong.
I know they wish that I believed,
Thoughts inside are deceiving me.
I wish I could just shut off my brain,
Slow the anger, slow the pain.
If I died, I know they'd be heartbroken..
Death is always left unspoken.
I'm really trying so hard,
To erase my body that's been scarred.
To recover for them, be made new,
Avoid the bad thoughts, and shine through.
Icarus Dreamsi am running
with kites on runways;
slipping smiles into the breeze.
throwing paper airplanes
fluttering dreams in turbines.
i could've called anyone
there a liar--
but i only found me
inside my head.
and if i learned
i might not
afraid of flying
with the feeling of
between my fingers
I am my own victimI feel it every single day.
The weight on my two unsteady shoulders.
The confusion, hate and pain inside my jumbled mind.
It eats at me, day in and out.
Not matter how hard I try, it's there,
like a shadow you can't run away from.
Most people have no clue about any of it.
And the one's that do don't understand why.
I can't help it.
Every time I look in a mirror.
Every time someone insults me.
Every time I'm in pain.
I am my worst enemy.
My own curse.
Each scar stands for one more time I was insulted.
Or one more time my parent's fought.
Or one more time I was rejected by someone I loved.
One more time I fell victim
Something that can destroy many things.
People go out their way to find it.
To become it.
Sometimes it becomes a constant torture to be their ideal image of their self.
Not a lot of people want it.
Rarely does anyone want it.
But there is plenty of people who think death is their only escape from the world.
Many die by their own hands.
A cut of a knife, a blow of a gun, a couple of sleeping pills, hung by a rope.
It becomes a constant torture, hating the living days and wanting their death.
Some are harmed by others.
Rarely do people harm themselves.
But we do.
We see pleasure in pain and blood.
Wounds and burns becoming scars.
It becomes a constant torture, taking the emotional pain and turning it into physical.
Cover It With InkI will not break another person in my life
Those who I have broken I will fix
I'm done with this thought that I'm nothing
Cause I'm something that no one will never be
I'm done crying myself to sleep
I will laugh at the thought
I will never pick that blade up again
Cause if I will cut something it will be paper
I will cut paper
With my pen
I will write my emotions
And I will not hide
I'm not evil
I will cut my paper
I will use my deadly weapon
I feel bad for the item I'm covering in ink
I know how it feels to be covered
I know how it feels to be cornered
I will not take any pills
This is my medication
I will learn
Something that we all have known
When we were kids
I will learn to
Love myself again
when I cutI pick up the razor blade,
I take a deep breath.
I look down at my pail skin,
I place the razor blade on it.
I take another deep breath,
I close my eyes and then open them again.
I pull the razor blade across my flesh,
I take the blade and do the same,
on the rest of my arm.
then I'm done,
the pain is the best release I've had.
I Am That GirlI'm the girl who writes poems
Because it helps me get my feelings out.
It's the only way I know how.
I'm the girl who will love anyone
No matter who they are.
I'm the girl, who can be annoying at times,
But I love life and everything in it.
I'm the girl who will always make
Room in her heart for someone,
Because I love just about everyone.
I'm the girl, who will flirt with you,
But never admit to you how I really feel.
I'm the girl who will truly love you.
No one will ever love you as much as I do.
StrengthAfter everything that she has been through,
She finally feels her strongest.
She feels like nothing can bring her down,
And for the first time she’s happy about who she is.
She no longer thinks that she is useless.
When she looks in the mirror
She sees someone who is pretty
Rather than ugly.
It took her awhile to get where she is now,
But she is forever grateful for the obstacles in her life
That made her strong.
Her new found strength
Makes her feel like she can do anything
And she can be anything that she wants.
She is finally the girl that she wanted to be,
But finding that girl took a little while
And took a lot of pain and heart ache along the way.
But she did it.
She survived the pain and heart ache.
She rose above when everyone expected her to fall.
Those that have brought her down
Have made her that much stronger.
She has lost someone that she has loved.
She was dying on the inside,
While on the outside everyone saw her fake smile.
But now everything has changed.
We Lost Each OtherI regret the day that I lost you.
I should have tried harder,
I should have made more effort,
But you should have too.
We both loved each other,
But I guess not trying resulted in us
Losing the person we loved the most.
I've never loved someone so much
Until the day I met you.
Maybe if we had tried harder
We would still be together.
But at the same time
If we have stayed together
Then we wouldn’t have met other people.
We wouldn’t have gotten the chance
To fall in love with someone else.
We wouldn’t have gotten the chance to let go
And learned to start over
Even though we lost each other,
We gain so much knowledge from it all.
We found out who we really were,
And what we want out of our lives.
So maybe losing each other was either
The best thing or the worst thing,
But neither of us will know how the other still feels
Because we lost each other.
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More